I saw you today. I smiled at you or maybe I just smiled to myself. My heart leapt upon your presence but you didn’t see me not because I’m a mere stranger to you but because it is a decision to preserve the minutest pride I have left for myself. My life was a mess since the day you got away.

If I were to conduct a love autopsy to find out what went wrong, it would not fall to the idea that one of us loved too much and the other too little because if it was indeed love, whoever loved too much would continue to love because true love meant loving even if it is unreciprocated. Look at it now, I was the one who loved too much but I was the one who made you go away. I pushed you away.

In shadows of our past I lurk in every corner to drown myself with memories and thoughts of what life could have been if I was brave enough to ask you to stay. I was afraid that you wouldn’t.

I saw you today. My heart felt the inevitable emotion of painful bliss. I saw you today with someone you’re holding so close. I hid deep in my heart the agony of our love. I saw you today…. And again… You got away…